Wise words from the director of "Biutiful"

"We can't understand what is happening to something if we aren't looking. But nothing is going to happen to that something if we don't look deeply. That's why so many things with incredible potential go unnoticed, because nobody bothers to look.

Like Schrödinger says, what you see in the world is what you get and that determines your destiny. Vitality or mortality is determined by what we choose to see in the other."



"The truth is that many events that shape our lives and our judgment come to us in the form of books or movies and television, and not from reality. Younger generations prefer to have reality reinterpreted for them, edited instead of facing an unpredictable and sometimes boring reality. When I am filming and setting up a camera maybe I am separating myself, and intellectualizing the moment but I keep it and that is the trade off. We are conscious that now we are observing ourselves observe. We document but we don’t participate in the reality."

Alejandro González Iñárritu from the DVD Special Features section of "Biutiful."

This film and its director do look deeply. If one of the duties of great filmmakers is to place us in a world outside of our range of experiences and make us live in it for awhile, then this director and his star have succeeded admirably. This world is incredibly hard to look at, at times, yet it is lyrical and heartfelt. Unlike previous Iñárritu films, all of which are good, it stays true to itself from start to finish. There are no false notes or easy outs. There's never a moment when you feel you are watching "Bardem the actor" instead of Uxbal the man. The rest of the cast are unknowns or amateurs who actually have lived the lives they are portraying. This is Iñárritu's and Bardem's masterwork and the only truly sad thing about it is how quickly it passed from notice.

Rent "Biutiful" and definitely check out the featurettes that accompany the DVD. I defy you not to be deeply moved.

Appropriation

Every day before we go out into the world, we stand naked in our bedrooms and make choices. Most times we put no more mindfulness into these choices than “gotta get dressed.” but because our clothing choices are the most visible aspect of our appearance, they define us perhaps more than we’d wish .

The shoes are New Balance. The half-socks are Hanes, as are the briefs. My shorts are Spaulding. The shirt is UnderArmour. The water bottle is SubZero. The phone is an ancient Treo and the MP3 is an ancient but serviceable iRiver.

I am good to go. I am a walking billboard for other people’s brands.

Except for the hat. Sorry Toyota, but it’s my brand now. It is no longer stands for a large, richly-appointed gas-guzzler. It means something more pedestrian.

It is me. It is mine. I have appropriated the logo and words to stand for my own decisions and behaviors. I am the Land Rover.

I began roving about seven years ago when I was 80 pounds heavier, hypertensive and had HBA1c values in the high 7’s. A diabetic son of diabetic parents. My last six HBA1c levels have been in the low, mid 5’s. This is accomplished by my near daily ritual and smart(er) food choices. I am no paragon of virtue. But I am a bit better than I was before.

It's good to have a vision. I told my physician and diet therapist that mine is of a spry 90 year old stepping into a canoe with my grandkids. These health advisors helped lay out a lifestyle that would bring me to that goal.

I had and have to make the “micro-decisions” necessary to reach it.
“Just do it.”

I used to say that I didn’t have time to make these commitments. That they were unfair. That evolutionary biology was stacked against me. Boo frickin hoo. The time of feeling sorry is past. I have too much roving left to do.

I'm not a huge fan of ballcaps, but you can't exactly go strolling in 90 degree heat in a Stetson. Maybe that's why those Texas politicians are all so … nevermind!

I am my cap. I am branded. There are many like it, but this brand is mine. It's sweet when that happens.

Take a hike!

7 reasons why being middle class ain't what it used to be

My dad worked a middle class job for almost 30 years. He never cracked more than a 5-figure income. Yet we had a house, plenty of food and oh, yeah, he put six of us through top state and private schools using a combination of (then) plentiful state grants, scholarships, work study and low interest loans. I only have two kids to put through college. My income is more or less on par with Dad's, but do I get the sam deal as him? "Every picture tells a story, don't it." Pertinent images from documentary, "Inside Job":
(rights retained by author)

Going to college is about 10x more expensive than when I was going.
Is my income 10x what Dad made? No.
American universities have abrogated
their compact with the middle class of this country.

Glad somebody made out. My family didn't.

I don't carry anywhere near this kind of debt,
but my savings certainly don't show
the same robust upward swing.
Talk to me after the boys graduate.
I may well be at the top of this cuve.

When I saw this, I knew things would be no different.
Change = "same as it ever was"
I am so disappointed in him.

Tim Geitner -- go directly from Wall St. to PA Avenue,
no need to stop at Main St.

Sleazy Verizon Blind Upsell

Last October, I was juggling three separate Verizon accounts, two landlines and a wireless account for my business phones. Several different attempts to get on Verizon's OneBill program fell short of success in 2010. In addition I'd had placed dozens of calls to complain about my spotty DSL service. It seemed every time it rained, my Net would go down. Perhaps this is why.

Living history--state of the art Verizon junction box

This rat's nest of a junction box is Verizon's sorry excuse for our 21st century information infrastructure. It provides the 25 homes on my side of the street in our fashionable little urban neighborhood with "high speed" DSL and landline service. I've never gotten anything close to the advertised 3Mbps, even when it doesn't rain. And when it does, several service techs always come out (the next day) and jiggle the cables or use the repair guys version of a hairdryer and it works again until the next rain. When I ask them what we can do to prevent outages again, the responses vary from contact the PUC to wait for FIOS. FIOS, hmm, there's another sandpaper rub. Back in the early 90's I was working on a post-divestiture video for Verizon employees and came across of a clip of Ivan Seidenburg promising Philadelphia "ubiquitous fiber to the curb" in 1996. Hot damn!

Do the math Ivan, 15 years have come and gone and WHERE'S THE FIBER? Eighteen blocks from the old Bell of PA HQ and we don't have it and nobody at Verizon can tell us when we will. My neighbor Grove, a purchasing director for an aerospace firm who telecommutes on Fridays, found this out the hard way. He called Verizon last year, got bounced to the typical 5 different CSRs, got disconnected twice, (I'm sorry sir this is not my department, let me transfer you, click, errrr, If you'd like to place your call, please try again). He spent an infuriating hour and a half of his life to find out what I could've told him over a leisurely glass of wine, that Verizon is writing down the costs of their investment in copper wire and is dragging their feet for the sake of the balance sheet. It's not a technology issue. It's a money issue. Grove, never one to suffer fools, voted with his feet and promptly canceled all his Verizon services and is now a happy (by comparison) Clear customer.  I feel for you buddy, but the time you wasted is chump change compared to my experiences.

Much more Sleaze after the Jump!

Father and Son Talk 1

The first of an occasional series where I post recent Dad/lad talks for fun, posterity or just so I don't forget them when I go senile.

Here's a little story about #2 Son in honor of his day. A few months ago, he had to recite this cute Shel Silverstein poem for class. It's called "Smart."

SMART

My dad gave me one dollar bill
'Cause I'm his smartest son,
And I swapped it for two shiny quarters
'Cause two is more than one!

And then i took the quarters
And traded them to Lou
For three dimes-i guess he don't know
that three is more than two!

Just them, along came old blind Bates
And just 'cause he can't see
He gave me four nickels for my three dimes,
And four is more than three!

And i took the nickels to Hiram Coombs
Down at the seed-feed store,
and the fool gave me five pennies for them,
And five is more than four!

And then i went and showed my dad,
and he go red in the cheeks
And closed his eyes and shook his head-
Too proud of me to speak!

The night before, he had it down cold, but the recitation had the sort of emotionless, flat quality of rote memorization. So I put on my speech coach hat and showed him which words and phrases to punch to derive the humor and meter from the poem.

The next day we were walking home from school and he said he'd done his presentation. I asked him how he did and an odd hangdog expression came over his face. (All my doggy owner friends know that expression.) I held my breath, thinking oh no, he messed it up. He mumbled a response to my question and I asked him to repeat himself.
 

He said, "Everybody clapped."

I said, "But son, that's great."

He said, "I guess, but they clapped really loud!" 

Me: "What's wrong with that?"

Him: "Nobody got as much applause as I did."

Me (heart swelling, but sensing the teachable moment): "Son, its great that you have empathy for your classmates. You're all part of a community and it's nice that you want to share things like praise with them. There will be times when they do things better than you and there will be just as many times (or more) when you do better than them. But you have to promise me something."

Little man: "What's that Dad?"

Me: "That you will never, ever again be embarrassed about excelling. Even if you're the only one who does. Instead of feeling embarrassed, ask yourself why they clapped so loud. Ask yourself what you did right to earn those claps and what you might have done better. Instead of feeling embarrassed turn it into a learning experience. Do you see what I'm saying?

Silent head nod.

Me: "Good! Now give me a hug."

Sometimes a kid who senses he is different and excels wants nothing more than to fit in. Nothing wrong with that, but when there's a strong, unique light under that bushel, a parent's job is to help lift that bushel and let it shine. It's moments like this that bring a sort of transcendental joy to being a parent. I've been graced with many such moments.

Face to Face

A recent freewheeling FB chat I had with my brother who is a teacher in the Chicago Public School System on the subjects of privacy, "friending," "defriending," kids and personal technology and the up/downsides of all:

10:16pmMe
are you still home?

10:17pmGreg
yes if you mean Pgh.

10:17pmMe
just got K's msg about defriending ###### for Mom. I can't do that. Would need access to her account and pw to do that. So perhaps you can while there.

This is one area where Mom and I disagree, but she has the right to her own opinions and "friends"

10:18pmGreg
I can handle it...think I'll just hide ###  for her...that way #### won't hound her and won't know that she isn't seeing ####'s posts unless ### posts to her directly

10:19pmMe
I thought of that and while I'd advocate hiding too, I think if she looks at her friends list, then she'll know ### is still there.

10:19pmGreg
it's a more "polite" way to ignore
we already talked about that

chances are real good ### won't
talk to her any more on FB than #### does already

10:20pmMe
abso, as long as she agrees
I've spam foldered ##### already. The crap I get from her isn't even personal email.
Just lame and stupid jokes.
The last series of Obama "cartoons" are positively racist, some of them, so off to spam she goes.

10:21pmGreg
I haven't received a single post from ### --to me, since friending.

#### is no more a part of my life now than before FB
no surprise

10:23pmMe
I am one for maintaining congeniality. which fb is a great way to do
friendship/contact but without the sticky stuff.

10:24pmGreg
I am no more/less congenial...like I said, the connection is the same as before.
I think ###, like most "collects" friends...
something I am not interested in doing

I only have about 150 people
on my list
not several hundred

10:25pmMe
I've had marvelous time reconnecting with bricks and mortar friends, some from as many as 30 years ago.

10:25pmGreg
did that with 1-2 people
most are people I already am in steady contact with on a regular basis

10:26pmMe
had a great discussion with 10 people over a photo from the early 90's ITVA. Might even inspire a reunion. Social media at its best.

Don't string me up but ...

Big man for smaller government?

Okay, this might destroy my blue bonafides, but I kind of admire this guy. He's tough, plain-spoken and breathlessly un-demagogic. I'm just grateful for every conservative politician who isn't foaming at the mouth about stem cells, reproductive rights, religion or guns. Maybe my standards have been lowered, but we have a history of pragmatic and respected Republican pols in PA -- from John Heinz who was lionized by the common people in Democratic PGH to Arlen Specter to Tom Ridge. We have some flakes too (cough Santorum). Christie is not a flake. He's a straight-ahead fiscal conservative which the folks across the river arguably need right now to prevent fiscal collapse.

Some people slap the "bully" label on him. Christie has stated that he advocates "adversarial collective bargaining," which sounds like tough-guy talk until you realize it is the norm in the private sector. Ed Rendell engaged in it in PHL during his first term as mayor and he is a Dem. folk hero.

As much as I support unions and the right to collective bargaining, nobody says it should be easy. Christie's point that if you're a CEO and it's your money, you negotiate as if it counts, because it does -- it's your bottom line. However negotiating in the public sector means "other people's money" and it is far too easy to give away the candy store with no pain to self and a positive payoff in campaign contributions if you are seen as union-friendly.

We're hemorrhaging here and you can blame the evil bankers and you'd not hear me raise a squawk, but it's we middleclass folk who have to take the brunt of it and make it work. We always do. It sucks, but that doesn't make it less true. Want to have a bonfire and roast some derivatives traders. I'll be there with bells on. But we all suffer from the rich men's greed until we put a stop to it. Different issue.  

Back to Chris Christie and NJ politics. My younger (Republican) brother was the mayor of a small NJ borough. He was elected with impressive numbers after he donated about a year's worth of legal assistance to secure flood relief for the township. Toward the end of his term, he had the temerity to propose that the borough's police and fire merge with the larger borough that surrounded his smaller one. A recent NY Times article talks about this unique situation in NJ, where every little podunk town has its own emergency response system which means a lot of waste and redundancy. In my brother's case, the savings would have been in the millions to the tax base and the good people of his constituency rewarded his prudence by egging his house, leaving threatening messages on his home phone. Needless to say, they tried to recall him while still in office then rode him out on the rails in the next election.

I told him no good deed goes unpunished. I told him about favorable coverage of Christie in the Inky last year. He was genuinely shocked that a "mainstream liberal paper" (not my opinion, mind you) had anything nice to say about the new guv. Unspoken, was that his Democratic older brother would have a similar positive take. 

What we don't get in these polarized times is that the fact based respectful debate between fiscal conservatism and social activism is balanced and necessary. We should help the neediest of our population. And we should be able to pay for it. Nobody should be demonized for taking one side or the other, as long as they're working with facts instead of pandering to emotions.

Make me barf!

I'll tell you, I saw the Time mag cover "Obama (hearts) Reagan" and it made me want to hurl. Reagan was the trendsetter for everything that is wrong about today's Republican party. Ideology over principle. Show without substance. Teflon. Telling people what they want to hear instead of what we need to hear. Reagan trained up a new army of wingnuts who think patriotism means selfishly voting with their wallets and prayerbooks instead of what's good for the entire country. Reagan might as well have been Gordon "Greed is good" Gekko. So what is the best hope for leadership in this country doing embracing a such a demagogue? 

I'd be far happier if O embraced the fleshy, still very much alive Chris Christie. Then we could have a real discussion about what's gone wrong and how to fix it.

One more thing. PA Guv Tom Corbett is talking about emulating Chris Christie. You want to make "smaller government" I say fine. Start with the boondoggle that is Harrisburg where we have more state reps per unit of population than any other state than New Hampshire. If Corbett sent about half of those hillbilly nosepickers back to their one horse towns, even I'd vote for him. PA is proof that more representation is not better representation. See table below:

Population and State Legislative Size Population   Legislatures            State  In  2005  Population  Rank  Total  Size  Total  Rank*  Senate  Size  Senate  Rank*  House  Size  House  Rank*  Alabama  4,557,808  23  140   24   35  16  105  16  Alaska  663,661  47  60   39   20   25   40   30   Arizona  5,939,292  17  90  35  30  20  60  26  Arkansas  2,779,154  32  135  26  35  16  100  18  California  36,132,147  1  120  29  40  12  80  22  Colorado  4,665,177  22  100  34  35  16  65  25  Connecticut  3,510,297  29  187  9  36  15  151  6  Delaware  843,524  45  62  38  21  24  41  29  Florida  17,789,864  4  160  17  40  12  120  13  Georgia  9,072,576  9  236  3  56  4  180  3  Hawaii  1,275,194  42  76  36  25  22  51  27  Idaho  1,429,096  39  105  32  35  16  70  24  Illinois  12,763,371  5  177  13  59  3  118  14  Indiana  6,271,973  15  150  18  50  6  100  18  Iowa  2,966,334  30  150  18  50  6  100  18  Kansas  2,744,687  33  165  16  40  12  125  10  Kentucky  4,173,405  26  138  25  38  14  100  18  Louisiana  4,523,687  24  144  22  39  13  105  16  Maine  1,321,505  40  186  10  35  16  151  6  Maryland  5,600,388  19  188  8  47  9  141  8  Massachusetts  6,398,743  13  200  6  40  12  160  5  Michigan  10,120,860  8  148  20  38  14  110  15  Minnesota  5,132,799  21  201  5  67  1  134  9  Mississippi  2,921,088  31  174  14  52  5  122  12  Missouri  5,800,310  18  197  7  34  17  163  4  Montana  935,670  44  150  18  50  6  100  18  Nebraska  1,758,787  38  49  40  49  7  N/A  N/A  Nevada  2,414,807  35  63  37  21  24  42  28  New Hampshire  1,309,940  41  424  1  24  23  400  1  New Jersey  8,717,925  10  120  29  40  12  80  22  New Mexico  1,928,384  36  112  31  42  11  70  24  New York  19,254,630  3  212  4  62  2  150  7  North Carolina  8,683,242  11  170  15  50  6  120  13  North Dakota  636,677  48  141  23  47  9  94  21  Ohio  11,464,042  7  132  28  33  18  99  19  Oklahoma  3,547,884  28  149  19  48  8  101  17  Oregon  3,641,056  27  90  35  30  20  60  26  Pennsylvania  12,429,616  6  253  2  50  6  203  2  Rhode Island  1,076,189  43  113  30  38  14  75  23  South Carolina  4,255,083  25  170  15  46  10  124  11  South Dakota  775,933  46  105  32  35  16  70  24  Tennessee  5,962,959  16  132  28  33  18  99  19  Texas  22,859,968  2  181  11  31  19  150  7  Utah  2,469,585  34  104  33  29  21  75  23  Vermont  623,050  49  180  12  30  20  150  7  Virginia  7,567,465  12  140  24  40  12  100  18  Washington  6,287,759  14  147  21  49  7  98  20  West Virginia  1,816,856  37  134  27  34  17  100  18  Wisconsin  5,536,201  20  132  28  33  18  99  19  Wyoming  509,294  50  90  35  30  20  60  26  TOTAL 296,410,404   7,382  1,971  5,411 * Due to equal sizes of legislatures or legislative chambers, rankings may not range from 1 to 50. Source: http://www.ncsl.org/default.aspx?tabid=13527

Abortion and Jobs-A Man's Modest Proposal to the Right to Life Movement



Have a Boehner to pick with this man?

They wanted a "win." No, let's restate that. They needed a win. After eight calamitous years and a sound drubbing in 2008, they are desperate, this full House of Tea-stoked conservatives swept in midyear on the seesaw tide we Americans seem to prefer in our legislative and executive branches. One up, one down ... reverse motion. Neither up too long nor down too long. So the angry new kids who swept in with all their angry rhetoric about red herrings like socialism and the destruction of American jobs needed a win. Even a win that if they lose, still seems like a win to their constituency. That, ahem, would be abortion. 

"Jobs" is an easy, monsyllabic word. Easy to say, much, much harder to do. Especially if you don't believe in public sector works on principal. That only leaves you private enterprise and there all the people whose pockets were lined during the last administration are keeping all the candy for themselves.  The fatcats have no incentive to fulfill your campaign promises. They got theirs already and are sitting tight on it. 


Bachman Beck Overdrive--Give Glenn the numbers and he'll solve our budget crisis

Let's say for the sake of argument that they have some bright bulbs among them, Rep Boehner having a bit more in the wattage department than, say Michelle Bachman. So, asumming the smartest of the new kids know the jobs creation platform is a bogey, this makes Rep Boehner's abortion putsch pure politcal theater. They'll never succeed in getting Roe v Wade overturned, but they might succeed in eliminating/restricting abortion, not for the people who can pay, but for the poorest of the poor, the women in greatest need. Sanctimonious twits. How does this equate to less government intrusion?  To me it seems like more government.  Duplictious twits.

Carrying this notion of "less (government) is more" to breathtaking idealogical extremes, home-brewed Tea Party activists in Georgia and South Dakota have proposed sweeping assaults on women's reproductive rights. The former would criminalize all abortions and criminally investigate, not just abortions but miscarriages. The latter would legalize "sharia-style" murder of abortion doctors. Takes the breath away, doesn't it? Nothing, not even "jobs" polarize Ameicans like abortion. So I have a modest de-polarizing proposal of my own. One that could radically alter, defuse if not end the abortion standoff in this country. Best of all, it has zero impact on all state and federal budgets.

I hereby propose that all anti-abortion activist organizations zero out their various private organization and PAC contributions and redirect all their funds toward a centralized trust that offers to pay women say $5-$10k not to have abortions. If you truly believe in "the right to life," paying a woman to deliver to term should be far more ethically palatable than killing abortion doctors or allowing the babies you care so much about to die. Furthermore, national and local right-to-life organizations would ban together to offer a network of good homes with parents who would adopt, raise and educate those "bounty children."  Call it health insurance for fetuses, a bounty or a bribe, but we'd half the abortion rate in this country if the pro-lifers would only put their money and child-rearing skills where their mouths and guns are.

Standing in a line and shouting at people is easy. Waving gruesome signs, threatening pregnant girls and reproductive healthcare providers is easy. Raising a kid is freakin' expensive. And difficult. Being a man, I am grateful that I can only imagine (having twice witnessed) how difficult it is to squeeze a kid out. Men, whether we're waving subpoenas, signs, flags or whatever ... we have no business meddling in the bodies of women, unless we are invited. So until pro-life bloviators belly up to the child-rearing bar they prove that their true interest is their willingness to legislate morality. They talk the talk, but do not walk the walk. Kinda like House Republicans.

I don't know what to do about jobs, if you aren't willing to fund public works and other true job creation schemes with taxpayer dollars. But my modest proposal offers a clearcut way to defuse the "abortion debate" in this country without guns, taxpayer dollars or more intrusive government.